"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
