ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
