just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
