Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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