Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
