So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
