I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
cat food counts as protein by the way
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
