Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
