I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
