I wanna bring you to show and tell
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
