So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
