yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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