So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize