at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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