we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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