i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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