Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
