Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
it glows. i had to have it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
