You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
