Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
