It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
