carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
