Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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