My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's shark week go big or go home
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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