I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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