The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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