So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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