This house was built for laser tag.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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