nut hugger
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize