weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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