I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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