i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize