Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
