brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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