She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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