i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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