Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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