But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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