This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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