I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
