dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize