You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
