he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
