It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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