hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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