look no pants
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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