Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
