im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the day after is always just damage control
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
