your room smells of hookers.
And success
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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