Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
