Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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