You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
