If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
