I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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