Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
