i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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