she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
