So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
