That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
