he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So vagazzling was a success
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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