I want to have your abortion
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
tell me about the fingering
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