When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
