I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wear drunk well.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize