How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
