her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
